what you are talkin about love
by Mad Hatter Helsing
Summary: 1 Question sets off interesting chain of events,mentions m/m slash/flash whatever. if you don't like don't read.This is my first attempt at a story so please be gentle with me. Rated T cause I'm paranoid. REVIEW I DAMNED IT SO! PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE!


_**Chapter 1: YOU WILL READ!**_

_**Hello yes I'm Mad Hatter Helsing and this is and authors note. Ok so here we go 1) in this story Bella and Edward aren't dating anymore but they are good friends, 2) the characters are different from the book and movie I have put her own twist on them 3) I would like to acknowledge/give credit to Rubydragonjewel for helping me / giving me an idea for part of the conversation between Alice and Emmett in the second chapter. Oh and lastly I need some ideas for my next story I'm thinking about doing, it's going to be a Bella/Emmett story and I am going to make it a humor story so I want some of the weirdest ideas for a situation for them to end up in you can come up with. **__**You will get full credit and reconization for the idea!**_

_**Chapter 2: WHAT?**_

_**Hello! I am your author Mad Hatter Helsing! This is my first attempt at a story so please...be gentle with me. Twilight and its characters are not owned by me they belong solely to Meyers!**_

_**I have no idea what you are talking about love**_

It's a normal rainy day in forks and our story begins at the Cullen house hold. All the Cullen's are currently in the living room. Emmett and Jasper are sitting in front of the TV playing halo on x-box while Rosalie and Alice are sitting on the couch by the coffee table looking at shoe magazines, Carlisle and Esme are on the round comfy chair talking about redecorating their bedroom. While Bella's on the floor by Edward's feet laying down reading a civil war book that Jasper gave her a couple days ago. While Edward on thee other hand is thinking to him about many different things. Suddenly shutting her book Bella sits up and looks to Edward. **"**Edward?**"** she asked softly moving to sit on the couch next to him. **"**Yes love?**"** he said looking down at her, her voice drawing him out of his thoughts. **"**Are you gay?**"** this question caused everyone's Movements to come to an end. Jasper and Emmett freeze their game, Rosalie and Alice close their magazines and Carlisle and Esme close their room catalogues.

Everyone stopped what they were doing to look from Bella to Edward. **"**W…. What?**"** Edward half shouted/stuttered out in a shocked tone. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop like the fraise says. Bella was the one to break the silence **"**Are you gay….like you know, you like hot-dog?" Bella said looking at Edward blushing slightly.

**"**NO**"** Edward response quickly as if it were absurd and a little too quickly for everyone's liking, which in turn caused everyone to be come suspicious. **"**Well there's a lot of evidence that says you are**"** Bella stated in a cop/investigator way, **"**What evidence**"** Edward asked in a curious tone. **"**Well then there is the gay porn on your computer I found when I was on there yesterday**"** she said as if she were stating facts from a book **"**I don't It's not mine**"** he said quickly shaking his hands in a dismissive matter.

**"**So Eddie boy have a taste for hot-dogs?**"** Emmett said in a teasing tone which caused both Alice and Rosalie to snicker, **"**Emmett**" **Esme warned. **"**Edward there's nothing wrong with being gay**"** Bella stated in reassuring tone. **"**I'm not gay though**"** Edward responded with force as he puffed out his chest trying to look tougher.** "**Well My friends Max and Eric, you remember him right?**" **She asked looking to the others.

"Yeah I remember him and Eric are lovers right?**"** Jasper asked no one in particular but was looking at Edward **"**yeah**" **Bella said answering Jasper with a smile. **"**We should have them over tomorrow, they were nice**"** Esme said looking to the others with a smile. **"**I'm not gay**"** Edward said sounding annoyed as he changed the attention to be back on him.

**"**Ha**"** Rosalie shouted drawing everyone's attention away from Edward to her **"**I knew you had a thing for Emmett, always wanting to just hunt with him I had a hunch and this proves it**"** Rosalie said looking at Edward. **"**What? No! Besides, if I was gay, which I'm not saying I am Emmett's not my type if I was to have a type that is.**"** Edward exclaimed staring back at Rosalie.

"Why's Emmett not your type hu? What's wrong with him?**"** Rosalie asked in a defensive tone inching forward in her seat. **"**He's to hyper sometimes and there's nothing wrong with him**"** Edward stated waving his hands dismissively. **"**Anyway so now you have a type Eddie?**"** Alice's said raising one of her perfect eyebrows at him. **"**It would seem so considering I'm not his type**"** Emmett said in a teasing tone.

**"**Whatever I'm not gay and nor is there gay porn on my computer.**"** He said in a stern voice **"**yeah but you sound gay though**"** Rosalie mumbled **"**No I don't**"** Edward said in a whiny/childish tone **"**yeah you kind of do.**"** Jasper said while scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.**"**Why are we talking about this**"** Carlisle asked running a hand threw his short blond locks shifting uncomfortably.

**"**Because Bella asked and now were all curious**"** Esme said answering Carlisle in a clearly amused tone while everyone else nodded their head in agreement.**"**So Edward are you gay Yes or No?**"** Bella asked getting impatient "No I'm not**"** Edward said clearly annoyed/ frustrated tone. Bella took a deep breath before speaking **"**Then how come least week when I was over and walking past your room I saw you fucking Mike Newton?

_**Chapter 3: DENIDED!**_

_**Hello! I am your author Mad Hatter Helsing! And this is chapter two for thee story, so with out further ado here you are, please remember to and its characters are not owned by me they belong solely to Meyers!**_

_**Recap:**_ Why are we talking about this**"** Carlisle asked running a hand threw his short blond locks shifting uncomfortably. **"**Because Bella asked and now were all curious**"** Esme said answering Carlisle in a clearly amused tone while everyone else nodded their head in agreement.**"**So Edward are you gay Yes or No?**"** Bella asked getting impatient "No I'm not**"** Edward said clearly annoyed/ frustrated tone. Bella took a deep breath before speaking **"**Then how come least week when I was over and walking past your room I saw you fucking Mike Newton?

_**Chapter two normal point of view**_

Everyone fell silent trying to process what they just heard while looking at Bella intensely with there mouths hanging open. **"**I didn't mean to yeah know?**" **she asked them with a question in her voice **"**I was just minding my own business walking past his room to go down stairs to read in the dining room and The door was wide open I heard a bang so I looked and Bam there they were**"** Bella said quickly making hand motions to help emprises her point.

"Um… I…..I think I'm just going to yeah just you know go for a run**"** Edward stated quickly while standing up and then proceeding to run out of the house at vampire speed. Edwards's actions caused Emmett, Rosalie and Alice all to snicker loudly while Esme and Bella frowned.** "**Awe he's so cute and shy**" **stated being completely serious. **"**I wonder if he has any gay friends?**" **jasper stated looking to Bella who was now lying down with her on Rosalie's stomach.

"I don't know**"** Bella's said as she felt Rosalie start to play with her hair. **"**I think this calls for an Alice style investigation**"** Alice said while clapping her hands together excitedly. **"**I think you might be on to something with that idea my dear sister**" **Emmett said in a creepy/enthusiastic voice. **"**AH here we go too Brilliant minds at work**"** jasper stated sarcastically making a hand gesture to Alice then to Emmett.

"Who asked you Mr. emotional?**" **Emmett said just as sarcastically as Jasper had **"**Don't you two start**" **Carlisle stated in an authority filled tone. He did this to stop Emmett and Jasper from arguing because he knew that if they continued they would wind up arguing and a wrestling match would follow. **"**Where do you think Edward went?**" **Rosalie asked suddenly bringing everyone's attention back to the fact that Edward had left. **"**I think I know but I'm not telling"

_**Meanwhile (Edwards's point of View)**_

I ran from the house as quickly as I could manage, I needed to think on how to respond to what has just taken place at thee house and what happened between me and mike. **"**What am I going to do?**" **I said to myself as I began to pace around mine and Bella's meadow **"**I'm happy that even though I and Bella are no longer together were still great friends, I tell her everything she's a good listener.**"** I said speaking/thinking aloud to myself after a few more minutes of pacing I stopped and laded down in the center of the field.

After 2 hours of thinking and arguing with myself I decided to head home, upon arriving at the house I was meet by a very worried Esme and a very worried family. **"**Where did you go? That was way longer than your usual run** "**Esme scolded me as she pulled me in for a motherly bone crushing hug."Are you hurt? Are you alright?**"** she asked checking me over before hugging me once more.

"I'm perfectly fine mom**"** I said as I returned her hug and apologizing to her. After me apologizing and assuring Esme I was fine, we all went inside and watch **"**the fast and the furious**" **not my movie of choice but it was Emmett's turn to choose the movie so yeah here we were watch **"**the fast and the furious**". **After watching the movie and a unexpected movie marathon we decided just to all hang out In the living room.

"So what to do**" **Carlisle stated suddenly in a fake British accent, while grabbed at his chin like a crazy mad scientist thinking. **"**I don't know what should we do?**"** Alice asked in the same fake British accent Carlisle had used. **"**Well well well well**" **Emmett said in a creepy British accent, which caused Esme and the others to laugh. I watched as Rosalie moved quickly to smack Emmett on the back of his head.

_**Normal point of view**_

"Don't do that it's weird and creepy**"** Rosalie stated in cold tone that she only ever used to scold him. Emmett instantly recognized the tone and began topout and sniffle. **"**Aw it's alright Emmy-bear you didn't do nothing wrong**"** Bella said speaking softly as she hugged him.** "**Beellaaaa**" **Rosalie said in a whiny tone as she drawing out the **"**E**"** and **"**A**"** in her name. **"**That defeats the point of me scolding him**". **Jasper chuckled at the scene the three were making while Emmett sniffled one last time before hugging Bella back.

"Ok so Bella how many times have you been to the hospital" Carlisle asked suddenly as he disappeared from the room only to re-appearing with 14 large boxes. **"**Um 200 times**"** Bella said in a kidding/unsure tone **"**Actually no you've been to the hospital a total of 400 times**"** Carlisle said in a matter a fact type of way. **"**And I have the file here to prove it" he said placing all the different size boxes down on the living room floor. **"**Is that really all her files**"** Jasper said in slight shock and disbelieving tone as he moved to sit next to Carlisle on the floor near the boxes.

"Yes**" **Carlisle said as he passed a box to jasper and to everyone else. Everyone then proceeded to find a spot on the floor and look at the files in the box they were handed. **"**A...Are my hospital files really all that interesting?**"** Bella asked uncertainly, moving to look through a box with Esme, **"**wow a broken arm at 2 from falling off the bed**"** said as he read off the hospital file.

After looking through all the boxes everyone had wind up falling asleep in the living room, the next morning Bella was the first up upon waking up she took a shower then made breakfast for everyone, By the time everyone woke up Bella was done cooking dinner. Upon everyone waking up they smelt the delicious aroma of breakfast food. **"**Go take showers then come eat please**" **Bella's voice could be heard coming from the direction of the kitchen.

After everyone had their showers on different floors they head to the kitchen to eat, when they were all done with their food and the dishes were done they retired to the living room. Later that day Esme had invited over Eric and his lover Max over, when they arrived they decided to have a work out day. So after hours of exercising they all picked random spots in the living room and plopping down, groaning both tiredly and loudly.

"D…did we beat our work out record**"** Bella asked from underneath the coffee table, slowly starting to fall asleep. **"**Yeah by F…four hours**"** Max mumbled from his spot on the couch his face barred in a pillow as he tried to catch his breath. After a few mumbled good jobs from everyone, they all passed out from exhaustion from exercising. After everyone was well rested up everybody got up/cleaned up and then went and sat in the dining room watching TV.

"So Edward a little lady I know told me you have been having gay tendencies**" **Max said with a knowing/sly smile. **"**I have not been having gay tendencies**"** Edward protested as he crossed his arms over his chest in a childish manner. **"**So then what you call it when you have relations with a guy**" **Eric asked using air quotations around the word relations. **"**It's called sex with a guy**"** Edward answered back sarcastically.

_***Esme and Carlisle are sitting on the love seat while Rosalie is sitting next to Eric and Emmett is sitting next to Bella and Max is next to Edward while Alice is sitting on Jaspers lap.***_

"So you admit that you had relations with a guy**"** Alice asked in a very amused/knowing tone. **"**Yes...I….I mean no**"** Edward stuttered out blushing slightly. Everybody fell silent and stared intensely with raised eyebrows. **"**Ok so I did alright**"** Edward said confessing to them all about what happened. **"**Would this guy happen to be mike Newton?**"** Carlisle asked from his spot next to Esme his mate and loving wife.

"Um well yeah I had sex with him**"** Edward admitted blushing once more, **"**So bro did you do it because you were curious or because you like guys or because you were all horny and couldn't find a girl who was willing?**"** Emmett asked in a serious tone. **"**Uh I don't know**"** Edward said you could hear the uncertainty in his voice.** "**Well just know if you do like guys that it's ok and that none of us would feel or look at you any different.**" **Esme stated in a genuine tone, this statement brought a hug smile to Edwards face.


End file.
